Very Lost

Most of the time I got a goal, or several ones. As I'v been told, pursuing goals is how people keep their life on. And I was quite enjoy the sense of achievement when I did it.

Last night I was talking to my sis, asked her why I got upset so easily. She said that I have too much desires, in terms of material needs and the demands of interpersonal relationships. The desires control how I think and how I act. Never let it go, until I hold what I want in hand.

Most of my friends, or closed friends know that I am a control freak. I set up my timetable and always make things done in time. It doesnt sound sexy at all, pathetically I do live like this way- a typical 'check' person- check each to-do item, then arrange time/resource to complete the tasks. When I finish one, good, here comes the next. Check check check, never stops.

My sis asked me an interesting question, 'what if you lose control of what you want to control, what do you really lose?' I pondered for a while, said, 'Nothing necessary, except for my working performance of project mamagement.' Ironically, my sis replied, 'What you always try to take control is not only for work; more than half of your time, you tend to control everything except your mind.'

So true, what she said makes me hesitated about the way I live. Or the way I used to believe in.

What is important to me? What the driving factors in my life?
About the people whom I do care, what do they want? What I can do for them?

Responsibility and check-on-schedule probably are not the only answer for life, there are much know to know, to experience, and to enjoy. It might be time for me to stop, and leave some space for myself to think about it.

The value of living

I asked Ivy about her opinion toward the value of living, her answer is 'be happy'.
People set goals for their life, 'family, career, fortune, health' are common ideas.

I estimate that there are another 50 years to live in my life.
What do I really want?
And what does really matter to me?
It is hard to figure out a certain answer.

-Having family versus living along.
-Successful career versus carefree life style
-Own a great fortune versus living a basic life
-Being health versus living life to the most and cut it out at the peak of life line

It is way to extreme to divide these possibilities as above.
Yet it would lead to different direction in terms of having opposite attitude toward life.

What do I really want?
I will give myself another year to ponder over.

Focus

Recently I realized that few things can make me truly happy, such as watching romantic/comic movies, chatting with real friends, cleaning the house (I have pysophobia indeed), reading an inspiring book, spending time with family, and being focused.

Being focused makes me fulling involved in something/certain situation, which spurs my potential and energy, then it brings me heaps of creativities and possibilities. It rocks!

Unfortunately this kind of spirit only happens occasionally. I called it 'flow'. People who are interestd in the 'flow' concept can refer to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, he has great idea about flow and creativity. I met him on campus few years ago. His speech was pretty inspiring.

I am looking for the pattern of being focused (probably there is no pattern/ rule/ tips to be focus). It is way too spontaneous and uncontroallable at this stage. I will need to calm myself down and figure out how it works to increase my capacity in terms of equipping myself with more productivities and abilities to increase life quality.

That's it for now, I need to go back to work and BEING FOCUSED.

My first job

Dear all,

Here comes a new entry since I'v stepped into another stage of life. Yes I am 25 and it is my first job ever. I work for Wharton Brain Trust group as an assistant consultant. There are only 8 to 12 employees in this corp. What we do is offering managerial consulting service to different field of industries. We provide strategic planning, marketing and sales management, human resource strategy consulting services and general trainig courses.

Small company has its own pros and cons. My working time is quite flexible but the working load is unendurable at the same time. Young colleagues and plain environment bring me both fun and boring experiences. Crazy amounts of opportunities lead to fast grow-up of self-learning and strong impact on emotional experiences.

I am a bit confused of what I really want sometimes. Yet I am be so sure of what I dislike. For instance, I can never figure out what sort of person I will become in next three years. Meanwhile I can dig out the nature of my job and keep working hard for it since I truly believe in.

People always dream about those things they will hardly reach. I do the same as well. However, there is one thing certainly,'I choose what I love, and I do love what I am doing'.

Life is tough sometimes, fortunately I got supports from different group of people and communities. The thoughts of paying back and sending the love forward exist in my mind all the time, I think it is the main thing makes me keep going.

My Aussie life

G'day!
I have not updated this blog for ages. Most of the time I prefer keeping diary in Chinese on my wretch blog (www.wretch.cc/blog/vicachic), tending to maintain my Chinese writing and network back in Taiwan.

Currently I study for Graduate Diploma of Marketing Communication, from Feb to Nov this year in the University of Canberra. It is all about marketing, brand management, public relations, advertising and media relations. This subject arouses my interest strongly, meanwhile it contributes to the conneciton of my past experience and future perspective.

The life in Australia is truly relaxing. I study hard for my own interests, then travel a lot to see this big country.
Most Aussie can not believe Taiwan is the same size as Tasamania but consist of 23 million population. The density is just like putting all Australian into Tasamania and then squeese another 2 million people in.It brings the different concept of distance and space between Taiwanese and Australian.

While I traveled to Albury, Bendigo, Melbourne, Philip Island, Lake entrance, Cooma, Merimbula, Batemans Bay, Sydney, Port Maquarie, Tweed Head, Byron Bay, Ballina, Brisbane, and Surfers Paradise, each place displays a different face of Australia. The climate, architecture, food, dress, and people all contribute to the fascinating appearance of each city and small town.

At the beginning of this adventure, I compared Taiwan and Australia by recognising the familiar elements in Aussie with strong Taiwanese perspective. Now, I see what Aussie got and use it to build up my value and future blueprint.

Besides the traveling and life experience, I met a lot of fantastic Australians who are really friendly and taking good care of me. Harry, my counsellor from Rotary Club of Mitchell-Gungahlin, his wife Dorothy, and all their family and friends have become my support and my permanent Aussie family.

So far, I found my short term career goal in terms of being a human resource head hunter or a public relation practioner. Long term goal has been set up as the initiator and coordinator of international community project which focuses on education and entrepreneurship.

Now, I admire sunshine, walking and smiling at everyone I meet. I enjoy keeping myself in calm and silence and following the flow, then allowing my body to follow my mind and soul. Is it the happiest status in my life? I wont say so, because I believe all the possible potential.

Summer 07

Summer is not my favorite season, but most amazing stories of my life happened under scorching sunshine. It's too hard for me to list down all particular years of events that make my life impressive, as much as I can remember, they includes several wind band concerts in stella matutina girls high school, Vancouver times, the first time I met David, the advanture since I entered university,Asia pacific local committee president conference , the begining and the end of my AIESEC career, happy travel tours with Ken, the challenge of institute of Human Resource Management, and now, I am sitting in China Trust Commercial Bank for internship.

Speaking of internship, I found myself turn out to be a managerial oriented person this summer.
Used to be studying in social science, politics, economics, society, and democracy are what I was focus on, since entering college of management for institute, my learning focus shifted. It doesnt mean that I only pay attention on single subject in a period of time, FOCUS means the learning target which I would put it as my first priority. Summer 2007, I participated NXP talet program, visited several companies for term papers, joined China Trust internship, and I am pursuing a Global integrated enterprose program of Advantech this week.

It's quite hard and weird to review all my life experience and try to make coordination. Life is not like a course that you can make a syllabus, nor a report that you can draw it an outline. Dividing by timeline or age, the groups of people, or some turning point of life stage, it's still complicated to figure out how life did go on. People would say it's not necessary to worry about the past, however, I am the kind of person who draw the future blueprint after refering to the footprint I left.

Life goes on year by year, I will be in Aussie in next July, and it will be winnter there.
Time does fly, the space shifts, and memories piles. Things couldnt be better than ever since I enjoy every moment under sunshine.

year 2007 update

Here comes another Faburary and it reveals that I am already 23 years old. I have not updated this blog for ages, most of time I keep journal in Chinese in my wretch blog vicachic. Recently, I am on 5 weeks vacation, being lazy staying at home or just fooling around in Taichung/ Taipei. In next Fabraury of year 2008, I am going to Canberra, Australia for market communication study. Just want to do a quick update, not much to say though.
Since I chat with old friends of university and some from AIESEC, I found out that my current life is quite simple and steady. All my life "stakeholders" are families, classmates of grad school, bf, grad project teammates, professors, and some AIESECers. I seldom contact with friends who I hanged out before university, the past is neglected. It seems that everything is smooth and my life couldnt be better, which makes me bored, however. Nothing is harder than making people around you to understand that you are not going to ruin the current happiness but just trying to let go of some trivias.