Most of the time I got a goal, or several ones. As I'v been told, pursuing goals is how people keep their life on. And I was quite enjoy the sense of achievement when I did it.
Last night I was talking to my sis, asked her why I got upset so easily. She said that I have too much desires, in terms of material needs and the demands of interpersonal relationships. The desires control how I think and how I act. Never let it go, until I hold what I want in hand.
Most of my friends, or closed friends know that I am a control freak. I set up my timetable and always make things done in time. It doesnt sound sexy at all, pathetically I do live like this way- a typical 'check' person- check each to-do item, then arrange time/resource to complete the tasks. When I finish one, good, here comes the next. Check check check, never stops.
My sis asked me an interesting question, 'what if you lose control of what you want to control, what do you really lose?' I pondered for a while, said, 'Nothing necessary, except for my working performance of project mamagement.' Ironically, my sis replied, 'What you always try to take control is not only for work; more than half of your time, you tend to control everything except your mind.'
So true, what she said makes me hesitated about the way I live. Or the way I used to believe in.
What is important to me? What the driving factors in my life?
About the people whom I do care, what do they want? What I can do for them?
Responsibility and check-on-schedule probably are not the only answer for life, there are much know to know, to experience, and to enjoy. It might be time for me to stop, and leave some space for myself to think about it.
